The Climate ‘Emergency’: It Ain’t No Thang

By Todd Olive, GLOBUS Editor-in-Chief

Our own Editor in Chief , Todd Olive, has had a change of heart – the climate deniers have finally convinced him that sustainability is a waste of time. Here he shares his new found knowledge from the most reliable of sources…

Let’s face it: climate change isn’t real. 97% of scientists, most international businesses, NGOs, the UN, and almost every world government are lying to us. Trump has been right all along: it’s a hoax. 

Don’t believe me? Here’s why you should. 

  1. They lied

As recently as 2007, climate change wonk and darling of the so-called ‘Climate Reality’ movement, Al Gore, said that: 

Our civilization has never experienced any environmental shift remotely similar to this. Today’s climate pattern has existed throughout the entire history of human civilization.” 

Now who needs to tell the truth, Extinction Rebellion?

What most disciples of the environmental crusade won’t tell you is that we have, actually, been here before – long before we humans were fuelling the fires of industry with fossil fuels. From about 900 A.D. to 1300 A.D., global temperatures spiked by an entire degree – the same scale of change that the groupthink scientists at the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change would have you believe we’re currently experiencing. 

Coincidence? You decide. 

  1. CO2 isn’t the killer. 

Set aside for the moment the questionable ‘science’ that tells us that global warming is happening, and just assume for the moment that it is. Who’s to say that it’s actually our fault? 

Who’s the real bad guy here, anyway?

97% of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere aren’t CO2. They’re not methane, or hydrofluorocarbons, or any of the other gases that we’re supposedly causing global warming by emitting. This 97% is, in fact, water vapour. 

Yup. That’s right. All these civilisation-ending events we’re supposedly causing with emissions are actually caused by less than 3% of what’s up there. Sound a bit dodgy? It certainly does to me. 

Not only that, but there are scores of other possible causes. The Earth’s changing orbit around the sun, changes in the sun’s activity itself, the El Nino Southern Oscillation in the Pacific Ocean, natural variability itself – the list goes on. 

Not so clear-cut now, is it?  

  1. What’s the fuss actually about? 

Assume, for a minute, that all the scare stories are correct. Global warming is real, and it’s our fault… but who says that it’s such a bad thing? 

I, for one, am fed up of our miserable, cold climate in the UK. So bring on eight degrees of warming – no more turning on the heating for months on end during Winter; no more flying to Barcelona for a Mediterranean climate, because we’ll have one right here; and no more national transport paralysis because a few flakes of snow fall in March. What’s not to like? 

Add to that higher agricultural yields from being able to grow crops all year round, and the ability to produce our own wine as far North as Manchester and Durham, and it sure sounds like a recipe for good times to me. 

Take away all the benefits, though, and you’re not even left with any costs. Back in the earliest years of this decade, scientists were predicting that the Arctic would be ice-free by 2013. If we took a boat up there right now, I’m pretty sure the polar bears wouldn’t all be swimming! 

  1. We couldn’t do anything about it anyway. 

First of all, it’s simply too expensive for us to convert our entire energy supply over to costly, inconvenient and intermittent renewables. The sheer amount of space that we’d lose to noisy wind turbines and ugly solar panels, coupled with the centuries of debt we’d have to take on, make the entire idea frankly quite laughable. Even nuclear power, perhaps the only thing that could get anywhere near digging us out of the hole that environmentalists insist we’re in (without costing us our wallets and our green and pleasant land!), is universally hated by climate activists – what’s a species to do!? 

It’s okay – we can have both!

Take your minds to the developing world, too, and the infeasibility of climate action is even stronger. If you were Chairman Xi Jinping, what would you do – invest in national growth and work on making your country richer and stronger, or blow it all on the word of some vegetable-waving hippies? China is the biggest emitter of greenhouse gases in the world – if they’re not going to move, then there’s not a jot we can do. 

  1. They say it’s too late anyway! 

The climate movement’s own IPCC concluded in September that, as the world has apparently warmed so much already, we all might as well all give up. 

Why? Even with serious emissions cuts, they find that there’s just too much heat already in the oceans to prevent more than half a metre of sea level rise, which will in turn increase coastal flooding damages every year by up to 1,000 times and lead to 70% of the world’s methane-inundated permafrost melting – which, according to their own models, will simply trigger yet more global warming. 

But what does all this mean? 

Climate change isn’t happening. If it is, it’s not our fault… and even if we are the cause, it’s actually a good thing. And it’s too difficult and too late to do anything about it anyway. So why bother? 

Header image: Photo by Harry Cunningham on Unsplash 

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